Monday, November 2, 2009

Searching For The Perfect Blend In Terengganu

I really should be writing about how a huge portion of our KK population must be living below the poverty line. Although I have no proper statistics to quote, I have the feeling that many, many of the KK households are still earning below RM3,000 per month.

But no, this post is not about being poor; it's not about struggling to make ends meet and homelessness among us Malaysians. It's about searching for the perfect blend in Terengganu.

"Body odour, humdrum sex and boring pyjamas have been blamed for the high divorce rate in Terengganu and the state government is coming up with innovative ways to improve sexual relations, especially among newly-weds."

[The Star]

Of those quoted excuses above, I think "boring pyjamas" stands out from the rest. But in this case, "pyjamas" refers to sarong and T-shirt. It's a bit difficult to imagine how these clothings can affect the sex lives of the Terengganu folks. For one would imagine that they would all come off for the final act in the end anyway?

Then again, I guess some people would find it more exciting to keep these clothings on during the act. And I supposed in that case, their lack of variety can lead to boredom, I don't know. Perhaps if the women wear leather girdles or G-strings, that might be a little helpful to get things started in the right direction. And when in due course, those, too, no longer work, maybe they can put on chicken suits or something, though admittedly the feathers can get in the way. It's annoying—that!

Regarding the problem with body odour, I am sure as hell glad that my spouse does not smell of fish crackers. Otherwise, while the entire world is in fear of the H1N1 virus, I would be praying really hard to have a perpetual flu.

However, humans are strange animals. In the course of trying to find something exciting to spice up the sex lives of the Terengganu folks, Muhammad Ramli shouldn't get too carried away. He shouldn't forget that not all divorces in Terengganu were caused by humdrum sex and boring pyjamas. Too much excitement and imagination may not be good either, and may also lead to divorce cases in Terengganu.

I wish the Terengganu folks all the best in their search for the perfect blend of sexual excitement to arrest the worrying divorce trend. And when they finally find that perfect formula, I bet they'd claim right as the Terengganu Formula For Blissful Marriage.