Wednesday, October 31, 2007
When was the last time you saw a good movie; one which had left you awe-stricken like the man in the mid-background of the above picture? The kind of movie which made you think, "Wow! the actors are really good, this movie is fit for an Oscar!"
Always remember not to take things for granted. When you see a man sitting in a wheelchair, don't assume that he is an invalid. Otherwise, you will be surprised when the next time you see him, he's dancing on stage.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I am still in awe long after I had stopped laughing.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Malays have been urged to be kiasu by Professor Ungku Aziz. He deems it necessary to achieve excellence in life. Come to think of it, I am kiasu too; and I would not hesitate to admit it. I always try my best to excel in whatever I do. But I don't think the Malays are not kiasu; in fact, I think a lot of them are. The real question is the approach that one adopts to achieve excellence.
Get over it!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
For a fee of RM1,600 the good doctor can impart his vast knowledge in sexual intercourse techniques and explain how the problem is to be tackled. But some couples are impatient — they want a quick solution. So why not perform the act in front of the expert and let him be the judge?
I wonder if the doctor has ever been tempted to demonstrate the act himself. Whatever it is, the first time he observed couples having intercourse in front of his very own eyes must have been quite something.
Friday, October 26, 2007
— Datuk Dr Ng Yen Yen, Deputy Finance Minister
I think it is good that the Government is subsidising the cost of mammogram in the hope of detecting breast cancer in its early stage. The RM50 subsidy is a good start. To me it is a more worthwhile use of public funds when compared to the Angkasawan project.
So I suppose it is only fair that I brighten things up a bit by posting something in the opposite direction today...
For some time now, I've realised that some of our women married more than once. Now probably this has a lot to do with taking after Hollywood celebrities. Even a model of a "perfect girl" like Britney Spears who pledged to remain a virgin until she's married, ended up with 2 divorces — so far. I bet it's just a matter of time before the next husband comes along.
Imagine a Malaysian woman marrying more than 3 times in her lifetime. That would be something, huh? In fact, that would be rare! That's why I was attracted to the story about a woman who was married 13 times — so far. I am sure even Elizabeth Taylor would be impressed with this record.
But 13 is such an unlucky number for some people. Perhaps the granny should consider rounding up the figure to 15? And that would guarantee her a place in the Malaysian Book of Records, I'm sure... and it will be a record that will remain unbroken for a very long time to come...
Thursday, October 25, 2007
— Singapore Prime Minister, Lee Hsien Loong
Some people are born with wild imagination and inclination — and creatively so too particularly when it comes to sex. It is not easy to say what is proper and what is not when it comes to sex.
What happens when a Government enacts laws that define the manner or limits of permissible sexual acts between two mutually-consenting heterosexual adults? Are we restricted to a prescribed guidelines on what is deemed proper and what is not by the law-makers?
Singaporeans would be relieved to know that their Government has decided to relax the law — although just a bit — to allow oral and anal sex between heterosexual adults. However, sex amongst homosexuals is still an act of "gross indecency" under Singapore laws, and punishable with a jail term of up to two years.
I doubt that any thorough research has been done on this matter, but one has to wonder if any mutually-consenting heterosexual adults have ever been caught having oral or anal sex in the past; and how they were dealt with...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Well, we ended up talking about Singaporean women. We agreed that they are increasingly more educated than their male counterparts. And we also noticed that they either delay getting married, or even opt not to get married at all.
I said perhaps it has a lot to do with the fact that they simply have no time to find life partners. I'd imagine that life in Singapore must be very competitive — work, work and work!
My partner had an interesting theory. He said the mentality of Asians is that when the women get married, they would marry "up" — sometimes they would marry "even", but very rarely, they would marry "down".
If there is any truth in such theory at all, I thought it is a cause for concern. After all, we are Singapore's neighbour, and we might have the same mindset. The reason that it is a concern is because it is a known fact that more Malaysian girls are getting into the universities when compared to the boys. Which means that in the long run (but not very long), the girls are going to be more educated than the boys. So are we going to end up with a situation where the girls would rather not marry because they run out of men of equal "standard" with them?
So girls, if you have a university degree or diploma; or say you are an executive in your workplace, would you consider a lowly-educated man who's working as, say, a clerk? If you drive a BMW, would you consider a man who can only afford a motorbike? Or would you expect your man to be at least of equal "standard" with you? Would you be prepared to marry "even" and "down"?
And I — what have I achieved? Well, not much! When I was still a teenager, I had a lot of dreams — I mean other than the wet ones. And now in my early forties, I have barely achieved half of them. But I continue to be inspired by people like the Casino King.
If I worked hard (and smart) I might have a shot at becoming a billionaire in about half a century's time when I'm 90. Sadly, however, at the rate that I'm going now, it seems quite impossible to reach that far — both physically and financially.
But thank you, the Casino King, for the inspiration that you have given us. I will strive to go the full distance.
And to those good people in the Federal Government, I could use a casino licence too.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Four years ago, ten of us chartered a 70-foot trawler one weekend. It was an overnight trip. It normally takes between 3 to 5 hours to reach the fishing grounds. But one hour into the journey, the sea began to act up. Being the freak anglers that we were, we continued on anyway. We had intended to go to a place known as Karang-Karangan that day, but because of the rough sea, we ended up anchoring about one hour beyond Mengalum Island. Mengalum in turn is about 3 hours from KK.
We were all disappointed because the fish were not really biting that day. The night passed uneventfully. The next morning, we shifted a few times as we normally would. I was standing at the rear of the boat something you wouldn't want to do during rough sea.
Suddenly, a huge wave came; the boat tilted; I lost my grip and fell down, landing onto the wooden railing. I heard my rib cracked. For a split second my vision became dark; and then the excrutiating pain kicked in. For a while I couldn't breath. My brother, Dennis, helped me up to a seated position. I leaned onto a short table holding my rib. I heard Eric saying "Oh shit!... Oh shit!". I managed to refrain from crying out in pain, but I just couldn't control the tears that kept coming. I felt like dying...
The skipper suggested that we take shelter in Mengalum, but I didn't think that was a good idea. So all of us voted to negotiate the rough sea back to KK. A journey that would normally take 3 hours, but we ended up reaching KK in 5 hours. In pain, I saw my girl, Jamie, and my wife, Euphemia, in my mind. Never before had I experienced such hopelessness a sense of losing it all...
Well, we made it back to KK in the end. An x-ray revealed a fractured rib. Lots of pain killers and a few days rest. And then 2 months later I was out at sea again. Sometimes, we just never learn. What can I do, I just love to fish!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Welcome back, doc; and congratulations for being the first successful Malaysian Angkasawan. We look forward to a cure for cancer apart from all those pictures you took up there.
But it must have been quite a suspense missing the landing spot by a distance of 340km, huh? That was quite an error in calculation and timing. Thank goodness all turned out to be fine in the end.
By the way, doc, talking about timing, I wonder if we were ready for this 11-day trip with a price tag of USD20 million. That is quite a lot of money. While we are all proud of this achievement, I can't help thinking the number of schools, roads and other infrastructures that could have been constructed with all that money. We are after all a developing country that requires development in order to finally become a developed country some day?
Now it seems that we are getting seduced by the idea of sending another doctor up there. That means what another USD20 million? Perhaps the timing is a bit out; too soon for us? Shouldn't we wait until we become a developed country first? How about we come back down to earth and attend to those kids who still walk miles to and from school each day because the Government has "no money" to build schools closer to their villages. After building those schools, if we are lucky, we might still have some money left to train some doctors and engineers.
Who knows, maybe these are other viable options on how to spend our money...
Yosevina Nogo Ritan, housemaid.
My wife and I are working from eight to five; five days a week. By the time I come home in the evenings, it would normally be close to 6 pm. My wife, being the Legal Manager in her workplace, would normally come home a little later than that. Those of you who are like us would know that it is extremely difficult to cope without a housemaid.
Our previous housemaid worked for us for four years. But she fell in love with a fellow Indonesian and announced that she wanted to quit within 3 days. We practically begged her to give us a little bit more time to find a replacement. She then gave us up to a week. Well, you know what they say, love can't wait...
After she left, we were without a maid for 2 months. We called up all the agents we knew in KK to no avail. We also asked some friends for help; and their friends' friends too. And then finally, it just so happened one day we were at a reflexologist centre where an Indonesian lady told us that her niece was looking for a job. That was music to our ears. My wife swiftly arranged for an interview.
Enter Yosevina Nogo Ritan...
She said everyone knew her simply as Fin. Her papers showed that she's 22 years old, but I had a shrewd suspicion that she's only a teenager. When my wife first met her, she had only arrived from her village in Indonesia. Out of desperation, my wife brought her home that very morning itself.
That evening, I met Fin for the very first time. This was about 3 weeks ago. Now I don't have any problem with Indonesian Malay, but I couldn't help but smiled when my wife tried to talk to her they were (and still are) like chicken and duck, trying to communicate with each other, if you know what I mean.
Well, it soon became obvious to me that Fin wasn't a very bright person. We had to teach her everything from scratch. But at least on that first day, I managed to teach her how to flush the toilet and lock the door by pressing that little button on the door knob.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz (The Star - 19 October)
A couple of weeks ago, the emergence of a video clip caused something of a stir throughout the nation. The video clip featured a senior lawyer allegedly brokering the appointment of judges. A three-man panel was subsequently set up by the Government to investigate the authenticity of the video clip. Anyone with information on the video is urged to come forward to assist with the investigation. One has to wonder whether the priority is to investigate the whistle-blower, or those person(s) implicated in the video.
I don't have any information about that famous video clip, but I am not sure what would I have done if I knew anything about it.
Of course in the spirit of "performing one's duty to the country" the "right" thing to do would be to come forward with the information whatever it is. And then if indeed there was any truth at all in the video clip, hopefully the guilty party would receive the deserved punishment. Then I would get a pat on my back; become famous and occupy the front pages of all local papers for some weeks. I might even end up being conferred with a datukship. That is one possible outcome.
The other possible outcome is that I will be thrown into prison indefinitely where I will be interrogated, blind-folded, stripped naked and then physically assaulted. If I am able to survive all those, maybe there is hope that I will somehow find freedom again some day. And then if I am lucky, I can commence legal actions against my perpetrators and awarded a miserable damages of RM1. Of course if I am really lucky, I may also end up with RM2.5 million (The Star - 19 October). But don't bet on getting that RM2.5 million, because in all likelihood, that was a one-off mistake that won't be repeated again.
Before she was born, I dreaded the thought of parenthood. It didn't help that I read about conditions like down syndrome and autism. My wife and I took a long time before deciding that we were mentally ready for parenthood. Now that I am a daddy, I am enjoying every moment of it. Whenever JJ learns something new, I am just ecstatic. There is so much joy being a daddy; and I long for another child. If we are blessed with a son, that would be even better!
About 3 years ago, my wife and I decided to try for another. But after months of trying, nothing happened. Then we went to a specialist doctor to seek help. I was made to go for a sperm-count test. It was an embarrassing procedure. I had to ejaculate into a small sterile container. Because I was embarrassed, I opted to do it at home first thing in the morning. But then after that I had to rush to the lab. Well, the count revealed that I had enough healthy sperms after all.
The next few months saw us husband and wife visiting the doctor frequently. We tried practically everything my wife's menstrual cycle was closely monitored; we were given timetable for intercourse; some sort of "fertilizer" pills for my wife; this test and that test. After all of those embarrassment, we came to the conclusion that we are not meant to have another child.
That is why my heart ached when I read about the murder of a newborn baby boy (The Star - 20 Oct). Whatever the problem was, surely there were other ways to deal with it. Put him up for adoption; or even abandon him at a bus stop or something. Did the boy have to die for the sins of his parents?
Friday, October 19, 2007
Mohd Noor Mat Amin, seasoned mountaineer.
From my early childhood I have always been striving to achieve something that others can't. I am essentially a perfectionist in many ways, even though I am aware that no one is perfect. In some areas, I have more or less achieved what I set out to do, but in others I'm still pursuing my dreams. Whenever I see others striving hard to achieve greatness, I am filled with joy and admiration.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
This post has nothing to do with the above case. But due to my fascination to that phrase by the judge, I propose to use it later... At the end of this post, I want to ask some questions; and I hope there would be some women — especially married ones — who'd be kind enough to offer an opinion.
On the balance of probabilities, without seeing the person, can a woman tell that the man next to her is not her husband? If not, would she be able to at least suspect something out of the ordinary while she is having sex with him? Would there be some habitual movements, grunts or reactions by the man during the act which would raise suspicions?
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
So says Celine Dion in the famous theme song for the movie, Titanic A wonderful movie inspired by the tragedy of the ill-fated Olympic-class ocean liner in its maiden journey across the Atlantic Ocean.
Celine does not tell us what was it that the heart will go on doing. I suppose she is keeping it open for us to interpret perhaps the heart will go on loving; hoping etc. Maybe it's better that the song is composed that way it adds to the beauty and artistic of it...
"She... was given a new lease of life..."
According to Dr Mohamed Ezani, the Unit Clinical Director of IJN where Hui Yi received a heart from a donor (The Star, 15th October - Hui Yi wants tube removed). I suppose Dr Ezani didn't mean "a new lease" in its literal sense as in leasing of a house or a shop. He meant the heart can help Hui Yi [a fresh start] to continue living.
"... my heart stopped breathing and my eyes stopped blinking."
This, coming from the famous Malaysian Angkasawan when he saw the view of earth from the ISS (The Star, 16th Oct - Helping out with the repairs). Elsewhere, in another blog, I've expressed my disappointment when the good doctor copied the words of Neil Armstrong that thing about the small step for him, and the big leap for the Malaysian people.
I said I would have been happier if he had said something original, instead of copying from another spaceman decades before him. Perhaps my comment had reached the good doctor after all, and the above was just him trying to be original this time. But one has to wonder what would happen after his heart stopped breathing perhaps his nose will start beating.
Maybe the good doctor is better off being unoriginal after all. Good try anyway, doc! Don't mess up with the repairs now, ya hear!?
Edit: I have just learned to add links into my posts, and I thought it would be nice to refer to The Star Online. Well, folks, to be fair to the good doctor, it was The Star that made the mistake. In the hard copy Star, it was published that the doctor said "... my heart stopped breathing...", but in the online version, he was reported to have said "... my heart stopped beating...". Doesn't it annoy you when people misquote you?
Monday, October 15, 2007
Anyway, the fortune-teller his name was Mr Singh (can't remember his full name) claimed that he's very famous in his field. For a fee of BND100, he'd read my fortune. Now at that time, BND100 was a big sum to me hell, it still is! so I turned down his offer nicely. But Mr Singh was very persuasive. He looked at my face and said that I had 7 happiness coming. That was so nice to hear, considering that I just lost my hard-earned BND20 bet the day before on a football game.
Mr Singh went on and on about my good fortune. I never knew that I was such a lucky person. However! at the end of that long chain of good fortune, there's one "black mark" a mishap according to Mr Singh. Safe for that "black mark", everything was perfect. Fortunately, Mr Singh, being the brilliant fortune-teller that he was, was able to remedy that "black mark" so that the negative spell could be eliminated. I was fascinated. But still, y'know, BND100 was my half-week wages. Then I thought of a compromise; I offerred Mr Singh BND50 (that was all the money I had on me).
Mr Singh became annoyed. He said it was an insult on his name. Absolutely no one ever bargained with him on his fee. He said it's not even enough to cover the cost of his hotel room. I felt ashamed, and Mr Singh left with a sour face.
That night I kept thinking about Mr Singh. Mind you, 7 happiness except for one miserable "black mark". Think about it, what is the price of BND100 to remove that "black mark", and then everything would be perfect. Oh I must get Singh to help me. But how was I going to get hold of Singh? Then I remembered that he's staying in a hotel. That should be easy, because back then, there're not so many hotels in Brunei. So I started calling the hotels one by one from the cheapest one up to the most expensive one. When I finally got to the most expensive hotel, there was indeed a Mr Singh who flew in from Singapore earlier that day. I was put through to his room.
I introduced myself and immediately apologized to Mr Singh. I said I was the one he met that afternoon the one who declined his service for a fee of BND100. I said I've changed my mind and would like him to remove the "black mark" so that my fortune would be perfect.
There was a pause on the other end. And then came the answer from Mr Singh:
Now look here, I'm no fortune-teller I'm a Government servant!
And again I felt ashamed for the second time that day. So remember folks, never ever take things for granted; never assume that there is only one Mr Singh around. They are all Mr Singh! The next time you meet a Mr Singh, make sure that you know his first name too.
As for the fortune-teller, he failed to get my BND100 that day. I guess I am doomed with the "black mark" for the rest of my life...
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Just for the record, I don't spend a lot of time watching TV. I am NOT one of those creatures who would wait for a favourite TV program to come on air on Sundays, just to be disappointed when that weekly program had to be cancelled to make way for Sure Heboh.
Anyway, coming back to The X-Files, there was one episode where Agent Mulder obtained a lead from a tape recording of a CCTV. I found myself in awe of the state-of-the-art video-enhancing software the FBI uses in its investigative work. From a blur footage, the said software was able to "enhance" the images to the extent that Mulder was able to determine that the person on the tape was Agent Skinner! The "video enhancement" process also took no more than 5 minutes to complete. Did you ever wonder why the FBI is respected and envied the world over?
And what have we learned from The X-Files? Well, we have learned to get their experts to help us out whenever there is a need for the so-called video-enhancement tasks. Such was the case of the gruesome murder of Nurin Jazlin. Our police force, due to its brilliant investigative skills, had managed to get hold of CCTV recordings. Unfortunately, as in the X-Files, the images found in those recordings were blur. So we sought help from the FBI. The tapes were sent over to the States for video-enhancement. I am sure everyone was kept in suspense over the last 2 weeks or so while waiting for the outcome of those "enhancements".
Finally, the video-enhancement was completed and sent back to our police. The Malaysian police in turn decided to publish those enhanced images to the public. Quite an amazing journey for those tapes, really. They've travelled thousands of miles...
From the front page of The Star, now we know that:
1) Man in a long sleeved T-shirt parks his Modenas Kriss motocycle in front of the Jalan PJS 1/48 Petaling Utama three-storey shoplot.
2) He removes his helmet and makes a phone call.
3) The man, still on the phone, goes and checks out the shoplot before returning to his motorcycle.
4) The man takes the bag that had been placed between the motorcycle seat and front basket.
5) He coolly walks to the shoplot with the bag.
6) The man returns to his motorcycle minus the bag and speeds away from the scene.
Now get this: neither the face of the bagman nor the registration number of the motorcycle could be seen clearly.
I didn't get to see the CCTV tapes before the so-called "video-enhancement". But I have a feeling that had I been shown those tapes before the FBI had a hand at it, I would have been able to give the police those information 1 to 6 above. Now with these information, I am confident that our police would soon lay their hands on the murderer(s).