Chain Mails

SOME people, perhaps due to too much free time, spend their days and nights thinking how to instill fears in other people. I can only imagine that as soon as they get out of bed in the morning, the first thing they'd do is to find what story to invent for the sole purpose of scaring others. I suppose they get their kicks that way. Some people are not quite right up there, if you know what I mean.

Having thought of something dreadful, they would then start their day by composing emails. In those emails they'd demonstate their creativity on making up things which are quite often stupid and illogical. They'd then send out those emails to friends. Those emails are frequently ended with something like: Please forward to everyone...; or Forward to at least 20 people if you want...; or Forward to ... Otherwise bad luck will...

Here is an extract of an email entitled "New Fraud Tactics" which arrived in my Inbox recently:

It starts quite simply with: "Someone shared the following cases" (but we are not informed of who that "Someone" is, of course).

"(1) Today I passed by a building which has an ATM machine. There was an old man looking at me. Suddenly, he called me. He said he didn't know how to read, so he gave me his ATM card and asked me to help him withdraw money from the ATM machine. I answerd 'NO!! If you need help, ask the security to help you.' Then he said 'nevermind..' and continued to find other people to help him...

REMEMBER : ATM machines have CCTVs. If you help him he will later claim that you have robbed him or stolen his ATM card. Besides, his ATM card could be a stolen one. So please be careful of these tactics.

(2) Suddenly your house lights go off. From your window you find that your neighbours still have lights. So you go out of your house to check the Meter Box. But once you open the door, a knife will be pointing at you and preventing you from closing it. This is when you will be robbed and injured.

REMEMBER : Even though your electricity suddenly goes off, DO NOT open your door immediately. Look around to see if there is anything unusual or if there is any noise around.

(3) This is another incident. You may have heard it before, it is about a lady who she saw a kid crying by the roadside. When she spoke to the kid, the kid told her he was lost and wanted her to take him home. The kid even gave her a paper with his house address. So she took him home. But when she rang the door bell, she had an electric shock. Later when she woke up, she was naked in an empty room.

REMEMBER : Being such a compassionate and helpful person might not be a good thing these days. Pass this on and girls, please be careful... DON'T BE TOO KIND!!"

The following is an email entitled: "If You Are Forced To Withdraw From ATM Press The PIN# Reversely"

If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in reverse. For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would key in 4321. The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you. This information was recently broadcast on TV and it states that it's seldom used because people don't know it exists..

Please pass this information to as many people as possible."

I love that part about "The machine will still give you the money you requested..." To be quite honest, I didn't even bother to check the truth of this email, but if there is any bank in Malaysia which has the above feature, please let me know. I will make sure that I never ever open an account in that bank. I can't bear the thought that "The machine will still give the money" in spite of the wrong PIN.

I find it surprising that many, many people would actually take the trouble to forward these kind of emails to their friends. Even my wife would forward them to me. But how can I scold her for doing so? She's just concerned that I'm being an uninformed person, you see. Besides, if I scold her too much, she might just go on strike for a month, and I will surely suffer.

But I do welcome some forwarded emails; this is one of them:

Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness And kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, The young minister Noticed a cute glass bowl Sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled With water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned With tea and scones, They began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through The Park a few months ago And I found this little package On the ground. The directions said To place it on the organ, Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'