Monday, January 28, 2008

Godsend Husband

About 3 weeks ago, I posted an article entitled Dilemma Between Filth & Kitchen Sink. In it I published an email I received from a reader of this blog upon her request. The author of that email, using the nickname On Ice, told the story of the affair she had had with a married man; and then invited comments and advice from me, as well as from other readers of this blog. Unfortunately, that was the last we heard of her.

Another frequent visitor of this blog, delurk, posted an interesting comment for that article. He raised his doubts on women buying the idea of sharing married men with their respective legal spouses; that those women are able to accept the fact that those men are not around "all the time", and not having them legally. He said he didn't think that men can accept that. I was hoping that On Ice would respond to delurk; or at least some other readers would get the ball rolling. But alas, as I said, that was the last we heard of On Ice; and nobody else took the cue to respond to delurk.

I found delurk's impression on men in general a bit surprising, to say the least. I happen to know at least one man who's having an affair with a married woman, and that affair has been going on for quite a while now. I don't know if the man can accept the fact that he's sharing that woman with her legal husband, but like I said, the affair has been going on for quite a while now.

On the whole, I think there is no difference between men and women. For whatever reasons, once the hearts are captivated, both genders are willing to accept the sharing business—or at least they're willing to live with that arrangement even if they can't fully accept it. Better something than nothing, you see.

Having said that, however, I have the impression that there are more single women having affairs with married men, instead of single men having affairs with married women; although I don't have any formal research to support this claim. I can only say that if I were still single today, I can't imagine having an affair with a married woman.

But what about women? Are they OK with sharing their husbands with other women? Even if they're not, they're probably more inclined to forgive their husbands—we know that Dr Chua's wife forgave him, at least that's the record for the media. In spite of Chua's wife, I still think most women in general can't accept the sharing business.

And so it is very hard for me to imagine 3 sisters marrying a man, and all living under the same roof. It's because they are convinced that he is the reincarnation of God Krishna. They are highly educated women, whereas the man is of standard six only.

What can I say, when those women think he's a godsend husband—no, they think he is god himself—they are willing to do anything for him! Some people are just so damn lucky.


Cornelius said...

I just want to report that I have received an email from a lady friend regarding this topic.

She said, as a married woman, she would find ways to kill any woman who has an affair with her husband. She said she might even kill both the husband and the lover! She added, it's either "this marriage or that affair you want."

But please allow me to add a bit of what I've seen in real life. Most of the time, it's easier said than done!

All too often, I see women sticking to their unfaithful husbands like superglues even though those husbands have been caught time and again fooling around with other women! These women offer so many excuses, ranging from "not wanting their kids to live without a daddy", to the more realistic "the whole family depends on that forsaken husband as the breadwinner". It takes a very brave woman—and I have seen some of them too—to close the door on a lousy husband!

Anonymous said...

that's just anger talking.

i know of 3 women whose husbands had affairs, all of them get back together. not to give an excuse for affairs but often you'll find that the marriage get stronger after an affair.

anyway, when a married couple is in such a situation, they should just concentrate on solving the issue among the 2 of them. The other woman is irrelevant. To me the husband is the only party at fault, why blame the other woman?

most "the other woman" don't intend to break up a marriage. she don't love him because he is your husband, she just fell in love a man, who happen to be your husband. and surely the wife can understand how another woman can be attracted to her husband, after all she too was attracted to him and married him.

at least give her credit for having the same good taste as you!