Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Mystery of Love

I had a couple of friends who were still single when approaching their mid-thirties, and there were concerns, both by themselves, as well as their family members, if they're ever gonna be married. If it's a girl, it would also be a kind of race against time, since we all know that the fertility rate drops fairly quickly beyond mid-thirties. So there is that tendency to try to be proactive in finding love. I know at least one friend who pushed it a bit too aggressively, and did find a spouse, but the marriage only lasted a few years.

Love is a strange thing—if it happens, it just happens without the real need to make it happen. That may sound confusing to some of you younger folks. But my advice is not to force it; if it's not meant to be, it's not going to last. There is little point to be in a relationship that is not meant to be.

When I was in my teens, it was beyond my imagination that any girl would be in the least interested in me. You see, I had long accepted that I'm not a handsome fellow—I just don't have the looks, I get it! I had no "style"; I don't smoke and don't drink alcohol, not even beer. I don't believe in religions. In fact, I was the perfect nerd in class. But I'm not the kind of nerd who scores straight As. For from it, I was a lazy bum and always got into trouble for not completing my homeworks in time. So, it seemed like I would need nothing short of a miracle to find that dumb woman to fall for me.

Throughout school, I did experience several occasions of secretly admiring some cute girls, but knowing that I'm that nerd as described above, I did not even dare to try my luck. Why bother if you had zero chance of success, if you know what I mean. In fact, I seemed destined to be all on my own till I die! But that didn't bother me at all, because from a young age, I've decided that if I'm never gonna be married, I could accept that.

It wasn't till some years later, while on a trip to climb Mount Kinabalu, that I quite unexpectedly found the woman for me. The rest they say is history.

But I sometimes wonder how easily some men or women find a partner. Is there really a special formula or trick to it? It's mind-boggling to me especially if the person has seemingly nothing that could be in the least attractive in him!

I know someone in the family who's got such magical charm. No—I mean someone other than the Playboy. I wouldn't say that he's much better looking than me, if at all. He's a divorcee and in his late forties. Although he's working, he's always struggling to make ends meet; and occasionally he's got to borrow to pay his bills. He's an overweight creature and not in the best of health; he's a diabetic and has issues with his cholesterol levels. The way I see it, he's a time bomb just waiting to explode. I reckon that if he falls ill, his whole body can just start failing one organ at a time. And because he has no insurance and no savings, things can very quickly become very bleak.

That is why I was fairly surprised to have been told recently that he's planning to marry again. Although he's past mid-forties, the woman who's gonna marry him is just 27 years old; meaning an almost 20 years age gap. I was like, "Just who is this woman? What's the weather like on her planet? Is she nuts?"

And then my sister offered a bombastic answer, "It's because of love," she said, and then added impressively, "Who knows, maybe this woman can change him for the better!". 

Yeah right, like hell she will!

Well, let me be honest here, the truth is that it's really none of my business. That's his life and he can marry a woman young enough to be his daughter for all I care. By all means, if it's truly a case of love, then what the heck, go for it!

But history has shown me that time and again when things go wrong, and people such as these get into trouble, they are bound to send out SOS, and sooner or later their problems will become my problems too. In other words, it's just a matter of time before it becomes my business too! Then what? Do I say, "Go to hell, it's none of my business!"?

Well, you know what? I'm going to try exactly that! I guess I'm never gonna understand this mystery of love thing, but when the time comes—and I know it will come somehow—I'm gonna tell them to go to hell! Sometimes, love hurts; and it takes a lot of sacrifice and pain to keep it. It's time that some people learn that as a fact of life.

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