Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Marathon Sentences

Just a quick one to share with my readers about the writing habits of my staff.

I have never taken up any form of formal writing before. What I have today is based on what I've read from books and formal articles. There is this thing about writing formal pieces. In my opinion, it's always a good idea to keep the sentences short—ideally a good average of say 15 to 18 words per sentence. There are exceptions, of course. But when we write informally, then it's a different story. I try to refrain from throwing in too many valuation jargons.

This morning I am going through a draft written by one of my staff. She's been with us for about 8 years now. Check out this sentence:

"The Sutera Harbour Resort Development can be described as located in an exclusive location with magnificent setting and landscaped and a picturesque of the South China Sea and Tunku Abdul Rahman coral islands and the majestic Mount Kinabalu."

A sentence containing 38 words; it contains several proper nouns and no punctuation marks in between those words—awful! It is almost as awful as my wife's style! But of course those in the legal field are known to make sure that absolutely no one can understand their documents except fellow lawyers.

I have been trying very hard to tell my staff to be more realistic when they write, but I have not achieved much so far. I shall keep trying, although I don't have much hope for success...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Cornelius
If I write just as good as you, perhaps you'll be my fan instead.

Didn't any of your staff manage to improve their writing, considering they have a boss like you. I would have except that I'm following your blog to learn your style of writing.

Anonymous said...

Dear Cornelius
I wondered why you are not in the publishing line or media.

Cornelius said...

Wow! Where did that come from, SWEETS?

If you are not careful, SWEETS, my readers are going to accuse me of self-praising via an anonymous name!... HAHAHA! But thanks for the kind words anyway.

To be quite honest, there is nothing special about my articles. I think a good way to write is to keep things simple. That is also my policy when setting treasure hunt clues. I have repeatedly told my staff that there is no need to use "complicated" words to try to impress our clients. Use short sentences and ordinary words. It will be less taxing to the readers when the articles are easier to understand. If the readers have to read a second time before they can understand the passage, then there must be something wrong.

This is another draft by my staff:

"The Profits Method of Valuation entails determining the net annual income and outgoings from the gross annual income and capitalising the net income by a suitable rate of return consistent with the type and quality of investment to arrive at the market value."

I am very well-versed with the Profits Method of Valuation, but even I had to read that again several times! Imagine what my clients would feel when they read that sentence.

So for example, my wife would say, "in the order of...", but I prefer something simpler like, "about..."

People write: Old history; I like: history (history is necessarily old, so no need to add the word "old")

People write: New invention; I prefer: invention (invention is supposed to be new anyway)

I don't think I have it in me to be a writer. If I have a creative imagination and can produce something like Harry Potter, I don't mind to earn all those millions! But right now, I think I am better off in the valuation field. Well, OK, an occasional role of being a CoC too (smile).

Anonymous said...

Dear Cornelius
I was thinking maybe you'll do very good as the Chief Editor of a Lifestyle magazine ...

True to what you said "to keep things simple". That's my motto too. Straight to the point. I just need to improve my vocabulary and use the correct words to express.

I will be able to learn more from you. The best thing I like so far is that you have actually written nicely and properly. It makes reading so wonderful. I simply couldn't stand the style of text messaging. Some words are so abbreviated. You know I hate guessing ... ha ha.

Cornelius said...

Chief Editor, huh?

Now I know I am not the only one laughing out loud, my friend! HAHAHA!

CHIEF!

Anonymous said...

Dear Cornelius
Yeah, this nickname is better than Corny.

Well, if you were to venture into that line, it wouldn't be a laughing matter. Except that you have not thought about it at all.

From the wide range of numerous articles that you have written and the experiences that you have gone through, it does seem kind of apt.

By the way, I'm nowhere near that line of profession.

Cornelius said...

SWEETS,

If you really want to improve on your vocabulary, may I suggest that you read more. You get to learn new words that way, and also how to use them.

Whenever you see a new word, try to find out its meaning. Whenever you read something that is easy to understand, read it again and find out why it's easily understood. You'd be surprised how much you can improve that way.

Almost everyone has his or her "style". And sometimes there is the tendency to repeat some words (that includes me). Pay attention to every single word if you can help it, and you will find that you can learn a lot of things.

From the many comments in this blog, I try to "see" the characters in those who made those comments.

Take Kok Seng's biggest "fan", for example. There's an anonymous person who apparently has a peculiar interest in Kok Seng. I pay special attention to that person's comments.

Later, I was told that some years ago, a more or less similar kind of forum took place in the Hunters Inc blog. I checked it out and found that there was indeed an interesting "discussion" about cheating in treasure hunt. In particular, someone by the nickname of "ramrod69s" was the "fan" of Kok Seng then. Just looking at the handle, we're able to guess that that person was probably born in the year 1969—he or she is probably 39 years old now.

You can learn many things about a person by just analysing his/her writing style. Even if you're unable to name that person, you would be able to know his/her character.

But of course this is far beyond writing skills. These are just interesting stuffs which intrigue me. Who knows, if I really learn some more, I will be able to become a Chief Editor some day.

CHIEF!

HAHAHAHA!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Chief
So, read my character. Tell me.