Sunday, June 6, 2010

Engagement: Harry & Buddy

Yesterday I attended the engagement party for Harry and Buddy (Yes, that's her real name). Our families are not in the habit of visiting each other, so we did not know where's Buddy's house. We had to assemble at Bandar Penampang Baru and started from the at around 10:45am, making a convoy of several cars to Kampung Nambazan.

Although Buddy's house was quite a distance from the main road, it was easy to find it because there's only one road passing the village. The compound was quite large and most of the cars could fit there.

Shortly after our arrival, there was a slow procession up the stairs to the upper floor where the engagement would take place.

There was quite a sizeable crowd, but we could all just fit nicely into the living and dining area. My step mother's brothers and sister were there. It must have been years ago since the last time I met some of them.

And there, on the small table at the living room, was the berian from Harry to Buddy. I'm afraid I had no idea whatsoever what's the contents of these, but I have a feeling that my step mother can remember 'em all by heart! And no, that small yellow box of chrysanthemum tea is not a part of the berian.

While waiting for the ceremony to start, the playboy spent a short moment to read through the engagement documents. Yes, folks, according to the Kadazan custom, both parties are required to sign something akin to a contract, outlining the details of the engagement including the cost of the berian, "belanja dapur", "cincin pertunangan", "karabau 'idup satu ikur" etc.

The ceremony started with the village head introducing some members of Buddy's family.

And then a representative from our side also took the opportunity to introduce our side. But what really got to me was that even at this ceremony there was a mention of "1Malaysia"! Amazing the influence of Najib

After the short introductions, another representative from Buddy's side spent some minutes struggling to read the contents of the engagement documents. Poor fellow, I think they should've provided him with a magnifying glass.

Then it was time for Harry to sign the documents (3 copies).

Followed by Buddy.

Not to forget the witnesses...

from both families.

And then an invited clergyman said some prayers for the ceremony. But somewhere between the prayers, he broke off to give some advice to Harry and Buddy about the kind of nightmare they're getting into.

Amongst others, he said something like:

"... this is just an engagement, not a wedding! (hopefully Harry and Buddy knew that already before the clergyman told them); it's time for you two to get to know each other well before the marriage. But don't go beyond what's permitted!"

For a brief moment, I had a crazy impulse to break in with:

"Yeah right, even if they did go beyond, who's gonna know? For all you know, they have long ago gone 'beyond'!"

But thankfully, I managed to control myself.

After the clergyman was done with his prayers, it was time to exchange the rings. I thought I saw Harry's hands shake a bit, but maybe that was just my imagination.

Buddy was steadier with the ring, of course.

So after the ceremony, both Harry and Buddy proudly showed off their engagement documents. (Oh boy, you people don't know what you've gotten yourselves into!)

Shortly later, we all made our way back to the ground floor where the food had been prepared. And of course the family pet dog was there to guard the food. Or perhaps it was hoping to get something too, I don't know.

More prayers from the clergyman to bless the food and thank the Lord before we finally embarked on lunch.

Well, there will still be some more months before the wedding (I don't even know when will it be). I hope the clergyman won't be overly stressed out worrying everyday of these two lovebirds going beyond what's permitted of them.


Anonymous said...

I'm sure Buddy won't go beyond what's permitted because she looks rather Holly!

mclai said...

There's nothing to worry about.. I trust both Harry & Buddy :)

Cornelius said...

Ah! I'm sure the clergyman would be pleased to know that, though I don't know how foolproof is "holiness" when it comes to this thing!... hehehe

Socrates29 said...

I just hope for Harry's and Buddy's sakes, this restriction against going beyond is not drafted in the engagement agreement signed by all the parties concerned!

Cornelius said...

No, I'm afraid not, Socrates29. Otherwise, it would have been quite a nightmare for the reader of that document during the engagement!

But for argument's sake, Socrates29, if it were me, it won't change the way I see these people even if they did indulge in premarital sex. I am not a religious man, and I am therefore free from religious influences. The mere fact that an individual abstain from premarital sex does not in any way reflect that he or she is a moral or religious person. What matters more to me is the willingness to take responsibility for their acts, whatever those may be. Whatever happens as the result of their act, if any, I will still respect them if they're willing to be responsible for it.

Therefore, I have no respect for this woman, not because she had premarital sex, but rather how she handled the consequences of her act.

Whatever God has to say about this issue, that's a separate matter altogether. That's none of my business. If there really is a God, that's between Him and them!

Cornelius said...

Oh of course, Sarah, if you put it that way! If it's my own daughter I would be disappointed. But maybe it's more about being sad rather than disappointed. If my daughter's life is destroyed because of a mistake, of course I would be sad. It is my business to be sad!

Anonymous said...

Certainly. :)