Thursday, August 6, 2009

A Note From JJ

My marathon training is becoming increasingly tough now. Although I'm not adopting the professional training programme, it's still hard to keep up. I run 4 times a week—3 short runs during the weekdays, and 1 long run on Sundays. Of the 3 short runs, I do 7km on Tuesdays, 12km on Wednesdays, and again 7km on Thursdays. But sometimes when I'm tired, like this week, I'd do the 12km on Thursdays and 7km on Fridays. The distances for these short runs will also be raised in the coming weeks. As for the long runs, those are also increasing gradually. Last Sunday I had to struggle to finish 25km, but thankfully, this coming Sunday, I only need to do 18km. But then the next 2 Sundays will be 28km and 30km respectively.

Because of my training, I spend lesser time with my JJ, especially this recently when she's been spending most of her time with her mommy to prepare for her exams. And in the morning, I usually wake up a little late at around 6:30am. By then JJ and mommy would probably be at the doorstep to leave for school. I usually have just enough time to give JJ her good luck kiss and then she's off to school.

This morning, after JJ left for school with mommy, I found a note from JJ at my desk where I spend a lot of my time blogging or surfing the net. As you can see, her hand-writing and spelling are not her strong points. Nevertheless, I could more or less make out the message she's trying to convey to me.

This evening when I arrived home from the 12km run, JJ was watching Tom & Jerry in the living room. Today was the last day of her exams, so she's allowed to enjoy herself with the TV again. I went to my desk and brought out the note to JJ. I had to interrupt her show briefly to get her to decipher her note for me.

She read out loud, "Dad, I love you as much as I love mom; you are my second best friend."

And then suddenly I felt very sad—I was overwhelmed by guilt. What the hell am I doing? I am going to miss these little moments with JJ as she is growing up! I know I will regret it one of these days.

I sat down on the floor beside JJ. She said mommy is her first best friend. I watched Tom & Jerry in my sweaty running outfit. JJ was soon in an animated story-telling mood to explain to daddy what would happen next. She must have watched that show a few hundred times by now. Both JJ and daddy laughed together, watching the TV.

In spite of my marathon training, work, treasure hunting, I will see to it that I won't miss some quality time with my JJ. Oh I just love that kid, and she's growing up so quickly. I hope we will be best friends forever.


blaze said...

Cornelius, on the journey to complete a marathon, you will discover a lot more things that initially thought. I have experienced similar feeling before. If you discover how your loved ones fits into your purpose, the journey will be a happy and satisfying one.

All the best.

Cornelius said...


The thing I fear the most about running my first full marathon is that I'm unable to finish the course. And if there's anything I hate the most is failing in what I want to achieve!

So many things can go wrong and I may not even get to the starting line. But I'm just trying to lessen by ONE possible reason why I can't finish the run. Hence the training. If I can't finish the run because of lack of training, I know I will hate myself for it!

However, while I'm pursuing this marathon thing, I don't want to forget about my loved ones. I've reminded myself that my family is still my top priority. I'm so lucky that they give me their support in this.