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Well, I'm so glad that I'm still far from the depressing level of the tofu. Otherwise, I suppose I won't be happy or have a positive outlook on my relationship with my wife.
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But on the other hand, neither am I anywhere comparable to the level of the cucumber. Just imagine, folks—freakin' cucumber! That's like you can beat up a dog with it and kill that dog in the process! I'll be damned!