Fear vs Respect

I was the Manager of our Brunei Branch office for some years. I started from the bottom and worked my way up to the top. But after a while, Mia and I became homesick. We decided to come back to KK and start all over again. It was a very difficult decision to make. I was not a qualified valuer when I was transferred back to KK, and I had to go through the Test of Professional Competence (TPC) again.

Throughout that 2 years after I came back to KK, I was basically a nobody. I was in my late thirties, but I mingled freely among the young executives in the office. Then one day, while I was having a yam cha with my superior, she privately advised me not to get too close to those young staff. The reason, according to her, was because eventually they might not respect me and it will be very diffficult later on for me to control them.

But that's not my nature. I make friends with everyone in the office. I joke around with everyone—even the clerks and typists, office boy, handyman and the tea lady. And I still do so up to now. For I don't believe that being friends with them can jeopardize their respect for me.

I don't want them to be afraid of me. If they don't feel like bowing down to me or greet me good morning and good afternoon, then they don't have to. As long as they do their job well, I am satisfied. There is no need for them to kiss the ground I walk on.

Some people have the tendency to forget where they come from when they have found their way to the top. They refrain from being seen mingling with the lower-ranking employees. They are convinced that that will harm their image. And sometimes they give instructions to their subordinates without thinking—they forget that these are also people they're dealing with.

There's this boss of a big construction firm I know of. He gave instruction to his subordinate to bring a potential purchaser to view a condominium unit on the 10th floor. The project is about 80% completed and the lifts have not yet been installed. So she had to walk that 10 floors to that unit.

Now it is true that she's working in the sales department and showing the units to potential purchasers is one of her many responsibilities. So one might argue that she shouldn't complain. But she's 8 months pregnant, for God's sake! Did you really think that your subordinates will respect you for showing your authority like that? Think again, asshole!