Friday, February 27, 2009

If I Were A Politician...

The first thing I would do each day is to think of new ways to make more money for myself. It won’t be because I’m so hard-up for money. No—it’s just for the thrill of making more money by screwing the rakyat in whatever ways I can. But in order to achieve this objective, I need to be one of those people sitting in the higher office in the ruling government—those who can play God for the fate of the over 20 million people in this nation.

But these days, it’s kinda hard to find one’s way to the top of the ruling government. If I’m unlucky to find myself in the opposition camp, I may have to work very hard to induce a number of people from the other side to cross over so that we can have the required number to form the government. Hell—I may even have to seduce them with promises of important posts in the government. Otherwise, why would they want to cross over; to serve the rakyat? Oh! Please!

At the same time, I will also promise the rakyat with all sorts of good things—such as reduction of fuel prices and toll fees, no corruption etc. And of course not to forget that I will go to all ends to find anything bad about the ruling government to bring to the rakyat’s attention.

On the other hand, if I am in the ruling government, and seeing that the opposition is gaining support from the rakyat, I would do anything I can to defend my position. Maybe I will even use nude pictures of sleeping Assemblywomen to my advantage. And maybe I will be willing to accept members from the opposition camp who’re allegedly corrupt people. I will do anything to get the numbers in order to form a new government.

And what about the country’s welfare? What about the economic situation? What about the rakyat’s suffering?

Well, what about them? Why should I care? Oh! For God's sake, those have never been my main goals as a politician anyway.

Power and money—those are the primary goals! And along the way, if I can gain fame as well, then that would be ideal.

Yes, if I were a politician, that’s what I would do. I will use my power to improve my wealth. And if there's anything left, I'll let some of my own people make a bit of money too. I'm sure the country is just fine on auto pilot. And if it's not, why surely somebody else should worry about it.

If only…

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