Friday, April 11, 2008

Locking The Unlockables

No—I don't think there is such a word; I just made it up because it sounds very much like a valid word: UNLOCKABLES.

The Chief of the Murut tribe in the deep jungle of Sabah had a beautiful wife. The Chief knew that some of his warriors were just waiting for him to go for his hunting trips before they'd "go in for the kill". Well, you know how it is with some men when it comes to women!

The Chief came up with a brilliant idea. He ordered his blacksmith to make a
chastity belt. Each time when he's going away for a few days, he'd instruct his wife to put the chastity belt on and then he'd lock it up.

And so the time came when he had to go for another one of his hunting trips. After his wife put on the chastity belt, he locked it up. Then he had another problem; who should keep the key? After thinking for a while, he decided to let his most-trusted adviser to keep the key while he's away. Absolutely no one else should get access to that key. The adviser pledged to guard the key at all cost.

Later, about an hour into his hunting trip with some of his men, the Chief was startled when he heard the voice of the adviser shouting from afar. He looked back and true enough, it was the adviser running towards his direction. The Chief was alarmed. Perhaps the tribe from a neighbouring village must have launched an attack?

The adviser came running up to the Chief. Still panting from the run, he said, "Chief, I'm afraid you've given me the wrong key to the chastity belt; it doesn't fit into the keyhole!"


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Now this thing about the chastity belt, isn't it sad to think of what women are subjected to? I don't really know how it works, but apparently there are chastity belts for men too.

Some years ago, I read about the Chinese women in Indonesia who had the chastity belts to protect themselves from rapists during the riots. When I was in school, I heard of similar stories by a Malay lady teacher who said that during the May 13 incident half a century ago, many Chinese girls were also raped in West Malaysia. She said it happened in her village. Those were the idiots who took advantage of the situation, if you know what I mean.

But times have changed; the purpose of the chastity belts have also changed. And in this case, the purpose is very similar to the one of the Chief above. The local government in Indonesia's East Java province is locking masseuses up in chastity belts to prevent prostitution! What will they think of next!?

I think humans are very resourceful creatures; they have conquered new frontiers in almost every field imaginable. In this war between libidos against the chastity belts, I'd place my bets on libidos—I'm sure people will find a way around those forsaken chastity belts!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Work? What work? I hope it does not involve a chastity belt...

Anonymous said...

today's star papers has a story about Indonesia's massage girls must lock their skirts.

Cornelius said...

Nah... I don't do chastity belts. But hey, now that you've mentioned it, perhaps when my JJ reaches puberty, I should seriously look into it! The only thing that I'm worried about is the complications that might arise when I misplace the key. With my forgetfulness, the key will certainly disappear!

Cornelius said...

Ah! delurk, you've beaten me to the story! $#!#@%$&%$@!

Oh well, I will finish this article anyway... hehehe

Cornelius said...

Oh yes, some of those women locked up in the chastity belts might be able to solve their problems by mastering the art of Houdini. So in the end, it boils down to how to get out of, rather than how to get in to, the chastity belts!