I received an interesting email from a lady friend this morning. It's forwarded from some kind of group known as the "FanBox".
The email was accompanied by a question: Have you ever had a one night stand? There were 2 boxes with a "Yes" and "No" respectively, and I had to choose one of them as my answer. I didn't take very long to think—I chose "No". That was my truthful answer, and it was not only because my legs were too weak to stand the whole night through. It would have been very exhausting to stand the whole night, but I would have been able to withstand the punishment if it were entirely necessary.
The email was accompanied by a question: Have you ever had a one night stand? There were 2 boxes with a "Yes" and "No" respectively, and I had to choose one of them as my answer. I didn't take very long to think—I chose "No". That was my truthful answer, and it was not only because my legs were too weak to stand the whole night through. It would have been very exhausting to stand the whole night, but I would have been able to withstand the punishment if it were entirely necessary.
Anyway, after I submitted my answer, I was presented with the statistic of the answers given by millions other people. An astonishing—at least astonishing to me—65% of the respondents answered "Yes" to that question, and that included my lady friend too.
I might be a little old-fashioned, but I think our culture has not reached that extent as far as sex is concerned. To be fair, however, it is possible that a major portion of those 65% were those people from the western world where freedom of sex is perceived to be more readily acceptable.
I don't mean to paint a beautiful picture of our people; in some cases I am convinced that we can challenge the adventurous nature of the people of the western world.
And this gives me an excuse to tell another one of my grandfather stories...
Years ago, when I was working in Brunei, there was a time when I had to travel regularly to Limbang in Sarawak. Limbang was a small town where one was able to see many, many motorbikes. It accommodated several rows of shophouses. On the upper floors of those shophouses, there were many beauty saloons; and of course many girls.
Many men would go to those saloons during the weekends, and let's just say that they didn't go there only for hair-grooming purposes. They offered massage services, and more often than not, they massaged the whole body—I mean literally the whole body.
I must have been in my mid-twenties then, and one weekend, I joined some friends for the adventure of a lifetime to Limbang. I was still single back then; so, y'know, go break a neck while you still can!
To cut the long story short, I found myself in one of those beauty parlours. The first thing that caught my attention was the amazing perfumes (those girls probably used up the entire bottle each day!). Then the make-ups on the girls; not to mention the little outfits they had on them which made me wonder why bother having them on anyway.
It didn't take very long for my friends to disappear into tiny rooms with their partners. I went into one tiny room with my partner too. And then suddenly I panicked. The girl was very, very persuasive. Very soon, she was all over me. I kept pushing her away, and eventually she became annoyed. I ended up paying her for playing cat and mouse in that tiny room. I just couldn't bear the thoughts of doing it with a girl like that. It was very tempting though! It was truly a case of fear vs sexual arousal! But I can't get over the thought of getting sick because of a momentary pleasure. Maybe if it's a different girl it would have been a different story. But I've never had that kind of opportunity—at least not yet!
The funny thing was that after that we all went back to Brunei, and all my friends thought I've had the experience of a lifetime that afternoon. It wasn't until weeks later when I told them that nothing happened, but I had to pay the full amount anyway. And they kept laughing at me for a long time after that. I don't know what's so damn funny anyway.
And so, I say again: I have never had a one night stand; not even a one afternoon stand. I am curious to know; to those of you who have had the experience, what was it like? Was there fear? Guilt? Or just plain enjoyment?
13 comments:
You are hilarious!
I don't think one night stand include any payment. It's between two consenting people, whom have no intention of any relationship after that.
sound to me, that female friend of your is suggesting.
delurk,
You have a point there. I didn't mean it that way, but whether a payment is involve or not, they're basically the same deal, aren't they? It's basically a "touch-and-go" thing. It's like meeting with someone at the bar, then usual "My place or yours?"; then the "touch-and-go", then the next morning when it's over, you'd simply disappear.
Then they next day, you just say to yourself: Oh shit! I didn't even remember to ask what's her name!
This famale friend of mine is a happily-married woman; much younger than me! The kind of woman many men would kill for! I am not that lucky! Be realistic... hehehe.
mmm...
one is like when your're very hungry, you just go down the nearest stall, and grab what ever food there is.
the other, you are on holiday, it's dinner time, you go town, you look around, found a cafe that attracts you with the ambience, you walk-in, inside deco was just what you expected, check out the menu, good range of choice, the kind of food agrees with you, you make your choice, waiters were friendly, food was exceptionally good. complete sensory experience. It's been months since you came back from that holiday, you still have vivid mental images of the restaurant, the memory of the taste of the food still lingers, you talk about the place to everyone you know, you write a blog entry about it.
Wow! delurk, you make me feel like going for a long holiday abroad... say Venice would be a nice place to visit.
I'm sure there are many fine posh restaurants amongst all those canals, huh?
However, if I ever find the kind of restaurant you've described above, I hope I won't over-indulge to the extent that I get to meet a young man or woman who has a striking resemblance with me twenty years down the road when I visit the place again! Now that would be something hard to explain to my wife, don't you think?
if u r, u r. if u r not, u just not.
ok..out of topic. but speaking of venice, dun go alone. it's just too romantically-depressing.
ooh... how i look forward to a 1NS. the thought of it of course excites me. BUT, i am married. if my wife finds out, i am dead. and knowing women, she will probably find out somehow. Also, what if i am blackmailed years from now by the other party. Definitely not worth the short term pleasure. Plus, i would not want my wife to have a 1NS either. So, i must reciprocate this good deed.
"Romantically-depressing", huh, CK?
But, my good fellow, if you are looking for a one night stand, the idea is to go there alone. Going with a partner won't do the trick—unless of course if both of you are all out for a threesome one night stand!... hahaha!
Dear Anonymous friend,
I think I share your views. I'd like to be fair in my dealings. And therefore, if I do not want my spouse to have a one night stand, then I should refrain from it as well.
But there are other complications that might arise from a one night stand. Getting blackmailed by the other party is just one of them. There's the complication of seeing a kid with a striking resemblance with you a few years down the road. There's the complication of contracting diseases, and then passing it on to your spouse. Now that would be something that I won't forgive myself for!
I think it is fair to say that most people are fully aware of the above possible problems; and most married men would want to refrain from a one night stand. BUT! y'know, when you are already in the heat of the moment—when the "small head" prevails over the "big head"—it's no longer a question of whether you are aware of the potential problems or not. It's a matter of whether you are able to snap out of it. That's why the best policy is not to let yourself reach that far in the first place—the point of no return!
Do unto others as you would have done to yourself. Dun do things you dun want ur partner to do to you.
ok...the oxymoronic term. it's romantic cox lovers all around you and venice has that special feel but being there alone it's depressing. though i enjoy it. well... those backpacking days in italy are one of the happiest day in my life!!!
hello cornelius
been reading ur blog since ur dec virtual hunt (sorry did not complete it - u posted the answers before i manage to finish the hunt).
i "almost" had a 1NS with one of my close friends. luckily it amounted to nothing more than a romp-a-pomp-pomp, in a car and under the bright lights of a parking lot in a shopping mall nonetheless! believe it or not by the time i backed off, i was shaking n my body felt cold, coz the only feeling i got back then is "fear" and "guilt". luckily i had personally told my wife about this "almost" story n got off with a light smack on my hand (phew).
my 2 cents on this issue:
1. in the first place, never let yourself into compromising situation at all, being drunk is no excuse.
2. do not sacrifice your future (emotional and mental torture) for this momentary pleasure.
3. in the heat of the moment, think first with ur "big" head. then only let ur other head take charge (ops).
Oh! too bad you didn't submit your attempts before I published the answers to my Dec Virtual Hunt. Thinking back, I suspect there might be many more people who're following that particular post, but kept silent, watching and waiting for the answers/explanations.
Regarding this thing about 1NS, it is hard to disagree with your suggestions. I'm sure those are very good advice. I think it all boils down to "easier said than done". "Think first with your big head"? Hmm... if only that is easy to do "in the heat of the moment"!
But I must say that you are a very lucky man. A light smack, huh? Where did you get your godsend wife!? A friend I told me of his "mistake" with a woman he didn't care for one bit. He said he was just fooling around for the sake of, well, fooling around. Unfortunately, his wife found out about it. And my friend has been puasa-ing for over 5 years now. Sexless for 5 years! Now that's some punishment, huh?
cornelius,
come to think of it, yeah i am really LUCKY to have my wife who is so understanding. i told her "the" secret after our marriage counselling session.
now every weekend when i read sunday's paper (dear thelma section in u-know-wat newspaper, online of course!) i am thinking that could have been me n my life could have been so messy and drama!
i am glad that for once when it mattered most, my big head conquers my small head.
i think the main difference between me n your "puasa" friend is that i tell my wife about it rather than she finds out about it herself or from someone else.
ps: i shudder to think of having to puasa for 5 years. er u sure friend turns out all good or still fooling around or not during the 5 years of puasa???
ps2: i am so hooked onto ur treasure hunt analysis posting. more more more!
monkeytree,
No, I'm not sure at all whether or not my friend has been fooling around over the last 5 years. The last time I checked with him, he said his wife hadn't forgiven him. So I suppose the puasa had to continue! Maybe when the sexual desperation peaks every now and then, he needs to be imaginative somehow; who knows, maybe he has been having sex with himself!? Obviously not the best solution, but y'know, sometimes you just have to make the best of what you've got!
Regarding the hunt analysis, I'm glad to know that at least some people enjoy reading them. Actually, I have a lot more to comment on the TrailBlazers, but I've decided not to in the end. There're already some signs that not everyone welcomes my comments!... hehehe.
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