I was enjoying my fried mee-hoon in E-Siong Restaurant in Lintas Plaza around mid-morning yesterday when I received a text message from Ah Moon. She drew my attention to an article on page 9 of The Daily Express. There was The Daily Express in E-Siong, and I flipped through the pages to find the article about women cab drivers in KK. And there she was—a picture of my sister-in-law, Norshidah Mustafa. She's the wife of my brother, Dennis.
Shidah had recently started working as a cab driver. According to the article, she's one of the only 10 women cab drivers in KK. To be honest, I didn't know about all this until just a few days ago when I was having lunch with Dennis.
Dennis has 2 sons—Mohd Aqil, 14, and Mohd Arif, 8. He used to be the sole bread winner for the household. Shidah took up sewing some time ago and did what she could from home to supplement the household income. There isn't much she can expect from her form 3 cert, you see.
But recently, she decided to do something more adventurous by becoming a cab driver. And after about 2 weeks doing that, she found that the income is not bad at all—in fact much better than the sewing thing!
Now on the other side of the world—in Vancouver, Canada—mom got to hear about this cab thing. If there is anything that I can't stand about mom, it is her tendency to look down on poor people—especially a lowly-educated Muslim like Shidah. She doesn't admit it, of course, but no matter how hard she tries to hide her feelings, they're just too plain to see—they're written all over her face. She has this kind of "pride" of being a Chinese and although she does not actually say it, I can see that she considers the Chinese as a superior race against the Malays. And because of that, there has always been a kind of prejudice against the Malays, especially if they are poor and uneducated.
Well, mom is not impressed with Shidah working as a cab driver, and she tries to use everything in her power to stop this cab thing. Phone calls upon phone calls to Dennis and Shidah to "advise" them against the "degrading" job. But Dennis and Shidah are adamant. And why shouldn't they—the money is good, what? So according to Dennis, mom said she will call me in the hope that I will be able to talk some sense into Dennis and Shidah.
Being the eldest son, my younger siblings usually follow my advice almost without question. However, I never once abused that respect they have for me. My principle has always been the same: I want them to respect me; so I shall behave respectably. Whatever I do, I try my best to show a good example to my siblings. It is so very easy to forget where one came from, you see. In Malay, we say: lupa daratan.
So as I said, mommy will soon call koko King Kong to deal with this "problem". But unfortunately for mom, I don't really fancy the idea of dictating to my 41-year old brother how he should lead his life. Neither am I gonna advise Shidah what she should or shouldn't do. Maybe if they're doing something illegal, I might think differently.
I am proud of my sister-in-law for trying her best to help her husband to support the family. Mom should remember that if her son is a very successful man, then there is no need for his wife to go to that extent to share the burden of supporting the family. There is absolutely nothing wrong with driving a cab. One of these days, if I am fated to lose my job and the only available job is being a cab driver, I would do it in a heartbeat! And to hell with what mom thinks about me. There is no point to have such a high pride, really, if one is unable to put three square meals on the table. Sometimes reality hurts—that's life.
Having said all those, however, I am concerned if Shidah is being smart about this cab thing. Being a woman, I can only imagine some dangers just waiting to happen. There is no way to know what kind of people—especially male passengers—what they have on their minds when they see a lady cab driver.
But I wish all the best to Dennis and his family.
5 comments:
I love your post! Thank you so much for writing this.. I think you must be one of the best older brother's out there to defy your mother's demands and respect your sister-in-law's wishes.. You are a good man. When I was in Sandakan I saw this same contempt coming from certain communities towards uneducated Malay Muslims.. At the doctors office I was appalled by the blatant disrespect some people had to endure by the staff of the clinic.. I also thought to myself that this had to do with a superiority complex..
Good post! Thanks for sharing!
P.S. This same 'superiority' complex is what we here in America call racism.
Thank you, Sarah, for your kind words. And I would love to acknowledge that I am "a good man," but the truth is that in our culture a man is not exactly a "good man" if he defies his mother's wishes. There is an old Malay adage: Syurga terletak di bawah tapak kaki ibu. Loosely translated, it means: Heaven is located at the bottom of mother's feet.
I try my best to obey my mom, but I would not hesitate to disobey if her wishes are against my own principles. And I don't really care what others think of me either. If I am considered "a bad son," I guess that's the title I'll have to live with.
This thing about prejudice and racism are not a one-way street. I happen to know a lot of Malays also have negative views of the other races. Chinese people, for example, have been branded as "ungrateful"; and even some VIPs have used very hurtful words against us. However, I don't think this is unique only to Malaysia. It is human nature and happens all over the world. I'm just glad that we've managed, so far, to avoid a major racial clash like what we had about 5 decades ago.
That said, this lately our political goon-goons are apparently trying their very best to raise racial issues for their own agendas. History has a strange habit of repeating itself. What can I say, people tend to forget all too quickly.
Yes, you are right Kong. During my earlier marriage. Mummy ever said this statement in one of her visits "If only mummy was here, mummy just look at Amran's parents (poor) and you two won't get married!" But now, mummy is happy because Amran is a nice man and a loving father to my two grand daughters. Then, she continued: "Would you approve your daughters marrying poor persons? I was speechless?" The words lingers in my minds for many decades! I believed with my full heart that good characters determine a person rich or poor not wealth!
Ah! that sounds a lot like my mother!
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