"A husband who was kept happy in the bedroom would have no reason to stray or seek out prostitutes or indulge in other social vices"
—Vice President of Obedient Wives Club, Dr Rohaya Mohamad [The Star]
That looks like a logical hypothesis by the good doctor. In a perfect world, I would even say that's a sound statement. But unfortunately, this is not a perfect world. I think Dr Rohaya is up for a big surprise.
Many years ago, I used to know a man, J, who was married with two kids. His wife and kids adored him very much. He wasn't a wealthy man—far from it—his wife had to work to help support the family. From what I could see on the surface, it was such a happy family.
However, I failed to understand why J would frequently cheat on his wife. He would go to the extent of having sex with a parking attendant at the back seat of his car. Being the curious creature that I was (I still am), I actually had a serious talk with J in a coffee shop one day. I was basically trying to understand why he was seeking sex outside; was he not happy with his wife?
He said he loved his wife still, and happy with their sex life. But—and this is the interesting part—there's a kind thrill in cheating on his wife and able to get away with it! He said sex, when forbidden, had some sort of magical excitement in it. It had nothing to do with whether he was happy with his sex life with his wife; nothing to do with his love for his wife!
Men seek sex outside of their bedrooms for numerous reasons which have nothing to do with whether or not they are "happy in the bedroom". The onus of a successful marriage lies not only on the wives, but equally on the husbands. And for as long as Dr Rohaya fails to account for that factor in her hypothesis, her formula for a "harmonious marriage" is bound to be in vain.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a married man myself, and I would be the last person to complain if my wife could serve me "better than a first-class prostitute", whatever that means. Maybe it's just my nature, but I'm not a believer of getting anything for free. If I want my wife to respect and obey me, then I must earn that respect and obedience. And it is there that the emphasis must be made, instead of trying to teach the wives to obey and serve their husbands as a duty; or as a condition to secure a place in heaven, the holy book regardless.
I'm convinced that if a husband is loyal to his wife and carries out his duties as the head of the family, his wife would willingly serve and obey him without even realising it! There is then no need to teach the wife to be an obedient servant to the husband.
But talk about creativity—Obedient Wives Club. Bah!