I have helped practically all of my family members financially on many occasions in the past. Many were interest-free loans which had to be paid back; but some were just cash handouts without the need to pay back. What I've realised is that when people come to you to seek financial help, they'd usually expect you to help immediately, as if you earned your money like plucking leaves from trees, because they're convinced that they deserve that help. But when it comes to paying back, it may take months, even years, if they pay back at all. This is despite having promised a payback timetable. Further more, this thing about asking for financial help almost always can become a habit for most people.
The other thing that I've realised is that it doesn't matter how many times you help others. People have the tendency to forget all those times. They will only remember the single time that you've refused to help. There is nothing I can do about it; I suppose that's human nature.
A few years ago, my niece sought financial help from me. She promised to pay back within a certain timeframe. It wasn't a very short time - it was for about a year, on monthly installments, and interest free. So I agreed to help. However, she failed to keep to her end of the deal. When the time came, I asked her what has happened to the agreed timeframe for the payback. Her reply was quite a surprise to me. She said it's not that she didn't want to pay, but she's a full-time housewife; her husband wasn't earning a lot of money. I was thinking, if you can't afford to pay, then don't commit. Because I may have plans on what I want to do with my money.
Well, to make the long story short, she eventually paid me. But after a few months, she came back to ask for help again. Having had that earlier experience dealing with her, I decided not to help, because I don't want to end up begging for my own money. She kept coming back on several other occasions after that, asking for financial help, but I kept refusing. Then a few months ago, I suddenly realised that she has unfriended me on facebook. Such is the story of a bad and inconsiderate uncle!
Malaysia was formed on 16 September 1963, and we have developed quite substantially since then. We now have many universities, among the tallest buildings in the world, modern roads and railway system, impressive internet connectivity (at least in the urban areas), land and air transportation, to name a few. The government produces annual statistics to show impressive growth in GDP. On the surface of it, Malaysia is a productive nation.
However, Malaysians as a whole - I mean the people, not the country - are actually not productive. No, far from it, we are people living on the principle of handouts culture. Since almost 6 decades ago, nothing much have changed for the attitude of Malaysians. Basically, we still can't stand on our own two feet up to now. We expect subsidies on essential goods, education, medicare, and even cash handouts, and many, many other goods and services.
Many Malaysians have taken up education loans, for example, which they promised to pay back, but actually never intended to. Instead, when it's time to pay they demanded that those loans be cancelled. The government's performance is judged on several factors, but apparently the main one is on how much handouts it can give to the people. The more that the government can give to the people, the more it is judged as a good government, and vice versa. Such is the mentality of Malaysians as a whole.
Thankfully, Malaysia is rich in natural resources. It has oil and fertile lands for agriculture, for example. These resources can be tapped and harvested. But they obviously can't last forever, and as the population grow, the size of the handouts will shrink sooner or later.
You really don't have to be a genius to do the math. Living on handouts can't last forever. Sooner or later, the tap will run dry. The only way for us to ensure that there's something left for the next generation is for us to be productive ourselves. Learn to be independent.
If my niece doesn't forgive her bad uncle, that's OK, life goes on I guess. But someday, I hope she will learn to be independent. We should all fight the tendency to blame others for not helping us; rather we should learn to help ourselves first. We should learn to gradually shy away from the handouts culture. But don't take forever to learn.
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