Strange Priorities

There was once when I went for my grocery shopping in City Mall. As I was pushing my cart out of Giant Supermarket, suddenly there was a commotion. The alarm was blaring and people were running all over the place. Evidently the huge generator in the basement floor of the building had caught fire. Black smoke engulfed a major portion of the basement floor. Those of you who're not familiar with City Mall, the basement floor also accommodates the car park.

There's the so-called "travelator" which Giant's shoppers can use to bring their shopping carts from the ground floor to the car park in the basement floor. But because there's fire in the generator room, all access to the basement floor was blocked for safety reasons. Although I have paid for my groceries, I decided to abandon my cart, and although my car was parked in the basement, my first instinct was to just get out of the mall into the street. 

On my way to the front entrance of the building, however, I noticed a woman arguing with the security guard. She wanted to go to the basement floor to get her car, but the security guard said nobody's allowed to enter the basement until the fire has been put out. The woman continued arguing though. Then the guard raised his voice and said something profound in Malay. 

He said, "You value your life or your car?"

One would expect the woman to change her mind about rescuing her car, but I was surprised to see her insisting to go get her car anyway!

I find it rather strange that some people take very lightly the circumstances which may be life-threatening. They would ignore all well-meant warnings of danger, and go about doing the things they're doing as if there is no danger at all. I guess that that shouldn't bother me if they're risking their own lives, but I sometimes get very annoyed when my life is put into danger too because I have no control of what other people are doing. 

For example, it's quite common that there will be the announcement in the airplane that all cellphones are to be switched off because they may cause interference with the aircraft's equipment. But all too often people don't really care—they won't switch off their cellphones anyway. And I can't help thinking that if the plane crashed because other people have failed to heed the warnings, I may also lose my life due to something that's beyond my control.

How important is it that the cellphones must be left on? I'm guessing maybe it's because people don't really believe that the cellphones can really cause an interference with the aircraft's equipment; or if they do, perhaps the effect won't be significant?

Some people, I've noticed, get their priorities all wrong. These people, for example, demanded to fly home despite a "No. 10 typhoon" warning, i.e. the highest for Hong Kong storm warning system, because their priority is to "return immediately for work or school". I was, like, what's the point of work or school if you end up dead? There are some risks just not worth taking for the sake of work or school. There will be other jobs to secure; there will be other days to learn in school, but when you are dead, you are dead—period.

The Power of Money vs Love

My late father used to say that people generally seek three things in life—Money, Position and Fame. According to him, some people work very hard to earn money; and then with money they can buy position. When they have achieved wealth and holding high position in society, they would eventually get the fame too. On the other hand, some people start off with getting the position first, and from there they get the money, and then the fame. And finally, some people would have fame first, which they then use to get the money and position. But no matter how you see it, eventually it almost always boils down to those three things that people are seeking in life.

Not many of my readers knew what my father was like. He was blessed with the gift of charm. I don't mean charm as in being handsome; rather, he had the ability to speak well. Maybe if he were to have told a cow that it could climb up a tree, the cow would be convinced too! Which is strange when you come to think of it, because my father lived a life of failures upon failures, and he left a trail of destruction behind. As you can probably guess by now, despite his way with words, I don't always agree with his opinions; or at least I don't always agree fully. 

I find that those three things that he spoke of in the opening paragraph above are hard to disagree with, but it's somewhat disturbing to me that Love is not included there. Although I agree that money is quite a big deal in life—people with money usually have power—but sometimes money just can't buy love.

I read with interest this article of an example where one is willing to forego wealth for love. Angeline was willing to give up on her inheritance for the love of her life. I can't help thinking that perhaps her father, Tan Sri Khoo Kay Peng, despite being such a successful and wealthy man, is in a strange way a poor man, really!

In due course my daughter will grow up some day, and there is just a chance that the man she chooses may not suit the bill of a man that I consider worthy of her. Maybe a truck driver or a manual labourer or a garbage collector. Perhaps I can foresee a life of hardship waiting for her? How would I react then?

Well, to start with, I don't have anywhere near the kind of wealth of Tan Sri Khoo for my daughter to inherit. But I will try very hard to talk her out of it. In the end if she is adamant, then I will let her do it. For it is her life, and that is a choice for her to make; not mine. When and if things don't work out, if I'm still alive, I will be there to support her. If by then I'm no longer alive, well then, that's the mistake that she's got to solve as best as she can. After all, we all make mistakes sometimes.

Twenty-five years ago, I was a nobody. I had nothing to shout about when I met my then girlfriend's father to seek his blessings for his daughter's hand. Before that, I was aware that I was the less preferred candidate. But her father was admirable; he put the happiness of his daughter before his own. When the time comes for my turn, I would also give my blessings to any man of my daughter's choice. If she is happy, then I will be too. 

Angeline Khoo is obviously happy with her choice, and I dare say Tan Sri Khoo is happy with his money too. But if it were me, I hope that when I die, I'm rich in love, maybe not so much rich in money; although of course if I can be rich in both of those, that would be even better!

Domesticating Wild Animals

A friend once told me of a very cruel joke. He said when a Filipino is put into a boat, he is a fisherman. But when you have ten of them in a boat, they are a bunch of pirates!

It is my firm belief that people of whichever race and family background have a fair share of rotten apples in them; not just the Filipinos. I've always noticed a peculiar human behavior—when they are alone and without the power to do things, they are generally more timid. But when they are in a group or have the power and strength, they will suddenly have the courage to act; and sometimes impose their will upon others too. 

Come to think of it, in that sense humans are not very different from animals after all. Have you ever seen how a dog, say, would be timid when it's alone? Yet that same dog can suddenly become fierce when it finds itself in a pack? It is the same with other animals like lions and buffaloes.

Thankfully, however, humans are generally more intelligent than animals. We are civilized—or at least I hope so—and one aspect of being civilized is that our acts are not necessarily governed by our animal instinct that I speak of above.

We have all experienced that feeling when watching movies such as Superman and Spider-Man. These super heroes have special powers which they can use on other humans with serious and far-reaching consequences. Yet they do not abuse their powers. The movie makers have the habit of teasing us, the viewers, by inserting parts where these characters are being bullied. Just watch any Superman or Spider-Man movie, for example, and you are bound to find such "getting bullied" parts. Yet they have amazing control by refraining from engaging in a fight.

The truth is that there is that animal instinct in all of us to fight back; and that instinct is even greater if we know that we can win. That is why many people are feeling some sort of frustration—although perhaps in a pleasant way—when Superman or Spider-Man refuse to engage in a fight with the bullies. 

Now a part of being civilized is about having the sound mind to control what we can do to harm others. In other words, controlling our animal instinct. As a parent, I try very hard to instill in my daughter the habit of acting based on sound judgement, and not based on the animal instinct. Act because it is the right thing to do, and not just because you can do it.

I think at this stage, many of you are wondering what's all this about? Why am I suddenly rambling about animal instinct? Well, it's just something that crossed my mind when I was reading this article. Some kids are feeling great and above others because they have the might to hurt others. Little do they know that actually they are so small. In the grand scheme of life as a whole; of this world; of whether there is respect from others, they have nothing! But some day who knows, there is just a chance that they, too, will become civilized human beings. I hope for their sake they will...